GBM4 and my life

The story continuing now. Tibor had a seizure in January and then our life changed at 180 degrees. After the lots of hospital days and seizures and nightmares, panic attacks, depression and hallucinations, the doctor said: "Tibor you have a GBM4grade Glioblastoma Multiform Grade 4, brain cancer... 

This cancer is a most aggressive and quick growing cancer ever. But we must to wait for the biopsy and after more 4 weeks for the treatment.
The oncologist said, he has 14/17 month to survive with the treatment but we hoped we have more than this time. But everything changed day by day. The radiotherapy and the chemo started June and now just a week left.
The chemo it's easy, because he has got a tablets, and he has not any side effects and symptoms. He has a good appetite. He gets tired quickly and sleeps a lot. Not much has changed in his behaviour, only a few things have come to the for and some things have been pushed into the background.
He is not very happy because he lost his job (bus driver) he cannot drive the car because his medications and he has a blind spot on left side of his vision.
But he is alive, and the doctor said, he do very well and the radiotherapy and the chemo helps because he is get better. 

I left my job and help for him at home, take him to the treatments, and anywhere who want to go and should to go. I being an uber eats driver in self employed status. 

This work is not to bad, but I must to swallow when the taxi drivers shouting me "fucking delivery drivers!" when I pick up the food from the restaurant on the busy road and I parking three minutes on their spots. But I swallow that, and sit in my car and drive away. I try to focus on my job and nothing else, no one else, but outside in the street is another world what I have got use to it.

But I learn quick and I smile behind my mask when the people think I do this job because it's easier than another one. I had lots of job and lots of experience, this is just another one. But this job good because I work when I have time early morning or late afternoon, evening... Tibor want to buy a bike and he wants to do the same. I worrying about him but I know I can not stop him, if he want to do, so do it. 

We bought a motorhome and we want to go around England and go to Scotland and Wales. I drive it and it's not easy because it's left hand drive ( I did not drive this side long long time ago) and the van is big and high for me, but I think few days and I can manage this. If it possible we can go in August and probably few weeks we are in holiday. I Hope will be alright. 

Tibor has an MRI in October and they check his brain, the cancer grow back or not. If it's back, the treatment start again if it's not grow back, he need to go back every third month and check again and again.

I'm very selfish because I think about myself if I have time and cry because this thing changed my life too, and I have not too much time for myself. I don't talk about about the hairdresser or any womanish thing... I want to some time alone, writing my short novels and my new book and just walk alone with the dog in the forest like before and don't think about future, and I want to take off the thousand stones from my shoulder... 

I know this is selfish, but this is MY blog and I can write here what I feel...